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Funny unrealistic things about Warhammer's rules 
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Warrior

Joined: Thu May 30, 2013 7:01 am
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I know Warhammer obviously isn't meant to represent real-world medieval combat (I mean... Dragons & Giants, right?), but some funny things still pop up in the name of rule simplicity and clarity.

1) A single guy can be fighting a unit of 50 people in a massive infantry block, and as long as they can't kill him or make him run away, all fifty of those men will have to stand there on the spot, unable to move or do anything else.

2) A weakling Zombie or a swarm of bats will cause fear. A unit of wolves the size of riding ponies will not, nor will an eight-foot-tall massive roaring Black Orc Warboss in full armour.

3) Poison works against things without anatomy or creatures without any veins or muscles.

4) Creatures can only fly for tiny intervals of time.

5) Opposing sides on the battlefield will take turns in determining who charges- the other side will simply hold still and take it. Even Chariots and Cavalry.

6) A Scythe-Wheeled Chariot can flee directly through a friendly unit and not hurt a single person in it.

7) A 170-lb. Human Peasant with a sword does the exact same amount of damage as a 1,000-pound charging warhorse.

8.) Despite a huge chance of blowing themselves up via Miscasts, Wizard routinely live into old age.

9) A Knight on horseback with a 20-foot Lance in front of him can charge an Elf with a shortsword, at which point the Elf will leap past the Lance, be able to strike the Knight, then jump back and then the Knight will be able to hit the Elf with his Lance, gaining the full benefits for doing so.


Anyone else have any more?


Sat Dec 07, 2013 11:32 am
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10) Unlike RL combat, it pays off to stand in the front-line. For every stab you take, someone in the back dies.

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Sat Dec 07, 2013 12:14 pm
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PhD in Dark Magic
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11) A large unit of weak troops will stand there and get butchered in droves against an enemy they can't even hurt, and won't be any more likely to run than if they were only slightly behind on the kills-to-deaths ratio unless the enemy outnumbers them.

12) By the same token, a unit that can't be harmed by its opponents might still flee from them... because they're outnumbered... and then be chased down and killed by the same unit.

13) An undead monster that doesn't need to breathe (and indeed, may no longer have lungs) can scream at targets to kill them.

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Sat Dec 07, 2013 12:32 pm
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Corsair
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14) A sorceress with a dagger sitting on the neck of a dragon or a manticore can hit a goblin.

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Sat Dec 07, 2013 5:13 pm
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15) A rat with a slingshot can kill a dragon.

16) There are rats who uses slingshots, and dragons.

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Sat Dec 07, 2013 5:36 pm
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Black Guard
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17) ten goblins with sharp sticks (5x2) can disrupt ranks but some dude riding a dragon cannot...

18). You cannot harm etherials/insubstantial creatures but they can harm you

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Sat Dec 07, 2013 8:10 pm
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19.) A Dark Elf Femal in a slave girlish outfit can count as having a heavy armor on, but there is not an ounce of armor in a unit of witch elves whith the same clothing tastes have no armor.

20.) Despite Living in the "Land of Chill," The Clothing choices of Beastmasters, Sorceresses, Witch Elves, and Sisters of Slaughter are that of elves living the land of "Warm Tropical Weather."

21.) Hand Guns are not Pistols, but long metal tubs with wooden stocks. The Real World Equivalent is called a Long gun for good reason.

22.) Marauders of chaos are all dressed in little to nothing despite coming from climates that make a polar bear think its too cold.

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Sun Dec 08, 2013 1:22 am
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Slave (off the Altar)
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One funny thing I found in the rules is the fact that the Kharbidyss doesn't have the Sea Creature special rule... even though it lives in the sea.


In fact, I don't think anything has the Sea Creature rule even though it's in the BRB.


Tue Dec 17, 2013 5:26 am
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Slave (off the Altar)
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23) Cutting champions/heroes into (very) tiny bits during a duel has more influence than a normal, gruesome death on the troops morale.


Tue Dec 17, 2013 10:54 am
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Warrior
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24) Despite only having two average strength people manning them and very very heavy, cannons can fire at anything they want with uncanny precision, as long as they don't blow themselves up trying to shoot.


Tue Dec 17, 2013 8:10 pm
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25.) Trebuchetts despite being rather accurate are not so much.

26.) Bolt throwers are really accurate despite wind velocity and distance

27.) Long Bows are not Armor Piercing at half range.

28.) The Copious lack of female troops amongst High Elf and Dark Elf troops despite being coed.

29.) Apparently all of the battles are fought in the Empire unless you buy your terrain fro another source or make your own.

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Wed Dec 18, 2013 2:04 am
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30) On the battlefield, Monsters are so well tamed they don't even need beastmasters anymore.


Wed Dec 18, 2013 8:45 am
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Warrior
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31) When a massive hulking beast is charging your way growling and dripping with blood it becomes automatically less scary for you if you yourself are a little bit scary.

32) Even if attacked with the force of a dragon as long as you have at least a small one handed sword or club and shield you have a chance of just parrying the attack like it's nothing.


Wed Dec 18, 2013 9:01 pm
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33.) Apparently A creature the size of a moving truck, such as a dragon or hydra, do not cause impact hits on the charge despite a creature of that size and weight could just do that.

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Thu Dec 19, 2013 7:31 am
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