Encouraged by saintofm...

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Norelle
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Encouraged by saintofm...

Post by Norelle »

I hope you all like these, they'refrom an AU where Malekith meets and marries an Elf maiden who bears him two children, but she is sadly killed by Morathi through covert posioning. here's the one I've actually thought out pretty well and it's after the children are grown and Malekith is burned and everthing...

*She Hated Her-

As Morathi dug the knife deeper into the sunset haired Elf maiden on the altar, her mind pictured another in her place. That damned girl from Eataine, who seduced her son all those years ago, who tried to take her place as a figure of power! Her only pity was that she hadn't killed her faster, but she had to not draw attention to herself...She remembered the girl still, as clear as day, with her long wavy locks that resembled spun gold, her smooth flawless skin, and eyes that were the deepest blue of the seas. How her son had looked at that girl, with adoration, burning in his dark eyes, that so resembled his father's, when he told her how he was going to take her as his wife. She'd tried to gently dissuade him, but he was firm and thus he took her as his wife. Then that minx, not only had she seduced him, she tried to make him surrender his birthrigh as the Phoenix King, tried to convince him it wasn't his place! That was when she knew what she had to do... She had waited until after the children had been born, before she started feeding her the posion, little at a time, knowing it would take years but it would appear as though birthing had been too traumatic on her...When she lay on the bed, struggling for breath, she'd felt a sense of satisfaction, and gloated to the dying girl on how she would raise her children, her grandchildren, properly. But she had only smiled at her, and with fading light in her eyes, whispered
"I might have failed to save my beloved from your grasp, witch, but my children, they shall never be yours..."
It was only afterwards that she had learned the girl had taken steps, gone to the usurper himself, to ensure her children were raised in Eataine, instead of solely Nagarythe. As the years went on, she could see that same spirit inside those children, no matter how hard she tried, that had dwelled within that girl...
She cleansed herself of the blood and headed to the chambers where her wounded son lie. He was murmuring in his sleep, faintily but as she drew closer she could hear what he was saying...
Aira...
Even now the little wench was coming between her and her son...
And she hated her all over again...

The End*

If this goes over well, I'll write the Malekith version of this one...
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Saintofm
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Post by Saintofm »

Ok, i'm officially hooked
Who needs sanity? I have a Hydra
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Lord damian valar
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Post by Lord damian valar »

Norelle,

Since you are very determined to do this story (you made that very clear in about 3-4 threads allready ;) ) I won't put anything negative in here, but instead give you some viewpoints.

If you are going to do this I think it should be very well done and intwerwoven with political vieuws and powerstruggles. The vieuwpoints from the different Elves involved should be very well defined. Some pointers:

- In your intro above you explain that Morathi waited for the children to be born before assasinating het Daughter in Law, you do not however why she made this descision. Morathi does everything with a plan and thus this can complicate the story and give great opportunities for your story in a later stadium.

- Also, it is obviously Malekith married out of love in your story. However, becoming Phoenix King is still his main goal in life at that point, so I do not really see his wife talking him out of that. At the very least this would be a mayor confrontation between them.

- As Malekith has fallen in love I see him marrying without political reasoning, however that does not explain why he would let his children be raised in Eathain. Offcourse the (I presume Noble) family of his wife would be very glad their daughter hooking up with the most famous and respected elf in Ulthuan, but why would Malekith send his children to them? I am not saying it is not a viable idea, but it should be explained with good reasoning (The obvious offcourse is that he himself cannot raise them and he does not want them raised by his manipulating mother.)

All in all I think it could make for some excellent political intrigue with good outlined motives for all characters in it, reflecting on their own goals. If you have not allready, read George R.R. Martins series A song of Ice and Fire, he is a master of character points of views. A character you absolutely hate in the first book, you become to understand in the next, its marvelous. His first book ( A game of thrones) is made into an HBO series, which is very well doen, but I still want to urge you to read the books, you will not regret it!

Good luck!

D...
Norelle
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Re: .

Post by Norelle »

Hey Lord Damian Valar, thanks for all you're great tips. My brother I think owns 'A Game of Thrones', actually and other books by that author.
I think I may rewrite this but to answer some of your above questions

In your intro above you explain that Morathi waited for the children to be born before assasinating het Daughter in Law, you do not however why she made this descision. Morathi does everything with a plan and thus this can complicate the story and give great opportunities for your story in a later stadium.


She was going to do it sooner but when she discovered the girl was pregnant, she still considered posioning her, but realized that having grandchild, particularily male grandchildren, she could use to ge the Phoenix Throne, if Malekith wasn't able to...
Plus if the girl died before giving birth she was worried that somehow her son might connect it to her...

Also, it is obviously Malekith married out of love in your story. However, becoming Phoenix King is still his main goal in life at that point, so I do not really see his wife talking him out of that. At the very least this would be a mayor confrontation between them.


There actually is a major confrontation in it, where basically Aira wals away and tells him to make up his mind about which is most important to him at that time. After some pondering, Malekith decides she matters more at that moment, and decides to give up on the Phoenix Throne, at least for the time being...

As Malekith has fallen in love I see him marrying without political reasoning, however that does not explain why he would let his children be raised in Eathain. Offcourse the (I presume Noble) family of his wife would be very glad their daughter hooking up with the most famous and respected elf in Ulthuan, but why would Malekith send his children to them? I am not saying it is not a viable idea, but it should be explained with good reasoning (The obvious offcourse is that he himself cannot raise them and he does not want them raised by his manipulating mother.)


Aira's family was noble, she was an orphan raised by an influential noble who was a friend of her birth father, and adopted her as a child after her parents died during the Chaos Wars. Her adoptive father actually doesn't really care much for Malekith when he meets him, as he thinks he's too arrogant and proud and selfish, but allows Aira to marry him if that makes her happy. He also always suspects Morathi of being something more sinister, just a gut instinct on his part, as he actually saw Astarielle and Aenarion once, and notes that Astarielle and Morathi are as different as night and day. And I'm sorry I wasn't totally clear in the story, but the arrangement was half of the year the children were raised in Eataine and the other half in Anlec. Aira worded her last will in such a way as she wanted her adoptive father to have them, because she was afraid he would be lonely otherwise...

saintofm wrote: Ok, i'm officially hooked

Really, but it's so small and bland compared to yours...


If I ever arrange the story I might post it, and it will be more refined, this was jst a trial run, since it's been years since I wrote and posted any sort of story.
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Post by Drainial »

The writing is pretty good but you need to look at your punctuation more carefully as well as proof reading it more closely. I know those are nit picking points but they are the kind of thing that can ruin the flow of what is otherwise a good little story and one that I would like to see expanded. I am also slightly confused as to how this links to an AU of any kind.

I don't mean this to sound harsh, I like it over all and just wanted to raise a few points of constructive criticism to try and help you improve it.
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Lord damian valar
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Post by Lord damian valar »

Norelle,

As you seem to take tips well, and offcourse they are meant well also, here is another one.

Aira's (adoptive) father as you describe him now, makes for an uninteresting character. He doesn't like Malekith (what? His daughter comes in a relationship with the most powerfull, most respected Elf in history and heir to Aenarion) but as she loves him he tolerates it. He wishes for the best of his grandchildren, bla bla...not really interesting. As you are making a story on the most powerfull characters in Warhammer history remember that the side characters must also be well worked out. How about this:

Aira's adoptive father (lets call him Jim for now) is the brother of her real father. During the Deamon wars he fought in Aenarion armies (minor officer perhaps?) and when news came to him that a small Deamonic Horde threathened his lands he send word to Aenarion to come to their aid. At that time however Morathi gave birth to Malekith and Aenarion returned to Anlec to witness the birth of his heir, sending a part of his army to help Jim and his lands. The Deamon horde appeared larger then first believed so as finally Aenarion brings forth his full force to crush them, most of their land and family have been ravaged by the Deamons. Aira's father among them.

Jim blamed the demise of his family on Malekith and thus as the Deamon wars ended and Malekith became of age he resented the young hero Elf for all his accomplishments. He loved his 'daughter' however, who was his pride and joy, and the only link to his once proud family. in her he rests his fate for the future of their house, her future children should strenghten his houses political influence.

Then Aira meets Malekith and the two fall in love. Struggling between his resentment of Malekith and the happyness of his daughter, and offcourse the Political strenght in marrying into the stronghest kingdom of Ulthuan, Jim agrees to the wedding and for a while all is well, his house flourishes from the pact. Then 2 things happen. his daughter dies which is a big blow to him. The agreement of mutual upbringing rights of the children comes in effect, but he notices behavior adjustments from the children when they have spend prolonged times at Anlec. Since Malekith himself is mostly away, fighting in the colonies to beat away his pain from losing the woman he loved, the upbringing of the children when they are in anlec rests on Morathi, who Jim has allways had a bad feeling about. The second and most devastating change is when Malekith proclaims himself King and is rejected by the flames of Asuryan.

The whole nation is in turmoil and as an 'ally' of Anlec his house is called to war. The Princes of Eaithain however, also call to him for his support and Jim is put in a difficult political spot. One of power, for the side which is allied with the 'grandfather' and heirs to Anlec holds political weight in the claim for justice (Malekith is believed dead at this point). So this could give a lot of difficult descisions for Jim and offcourse the story....


Well, I can keep on going with this. Remember this is just from the top of my head and not worked out well, but just trying to make a point that seemingly minor players in a story can really add to the feeling of the story as a whole. Portraying Jim as a man (elf) in turmoil between the love of his daughter, the duty to his house and his resentment to Malekith, could, if done right, make for an interesting side character that adds to the feel of the story...

I'll stop blabbering now.... :shock:

D...
Norelle
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Post by Norelle »

Lord Damian Valar wrote:Norelle,

As you seem to take tips well, and offcourse they are meant well also, here is another one.

Aira's (adoptive) father as you describe him now, makes for an uninteresting character. He doesn't like Malekith (what? His daughter comes in a relationship with the most powerfull, most respected Elf in history and heir to Aenarion) but as she loves him he tolerates it. He wishes for the best of his grandchildren, bla bla...not really interesting. As you are making a story on the most powerfull characters in Warhammer history remember that the side characters must also be well worked out. How about this:

Aira's adoptive father (lets call him Jim for now) is the brother of her real father. During the Deamon wars he fought in Aenarion armies (minor officer perhaps?) and when news came to him that a small Deamonic Horde threathened his lands he send word to Aenarion to come to their aid. At that time however Morathi gave birth to Malekith and Aenarion returned to Anlec to witness the birth of his heir, sending a part of his army to help Jim and his lands. The Deamon horde appeared larger then first believed so as finally Aenarion brings forth his full force to crush them, most of their land and family have been ravaged by the Deamons. Aira's father among them.

Jim blamed the demise of his family on Malekith and thus as the Deamon wars ended and Malekith became of age he resented the young hero Elf for all his accomplishments. He loved his 'daughter' however, who was his pride and joy, and the only link to his once proud family. in her he rests his fate for the future of their house, her future children should strenghten his houses political influence.

Then Aira meets Malekith and the two fall in love. Struggling between his resentment of Malekith and the happyness of his daughter, and offcourse the Political strenght in marrying into the stronghest kingdom of Ulthuan, Jim agrees to the wedding and for a while all is well, his house flourishes from the pact. Then 2 things happen. his daughter dies which is a big blow to him. The agreement of mutual upbringing rights of the children comes in effect, but he notices behavior adjustments from the children when they have spend prolonged times at Anlec. Since Malekith himself is mostly away, fighting in the colonies to beat away his pain from losing the woman he loved, the upbringing of the children when they are in anlec rests on Morathi, who Jim has allways had a bad feeling about. The second and most devastating change is when Malekith proclaims himself King and is rejected by the flames of Asuryan.

The whole nation is in turmoil and as an 'ally' of Anlec his house is called to war. The Princes of Eaithain however, also call to him for his support and Jim is put in a difficult political spot. One of power, for the side which is allied with the 'grandfather' and heirs to Anlec holds political weight in the claim for justice (Malekith is believed dead at this point). So this could give a lot of difficult descisions for Jim and offcourse the story....


Well, I can keep on going with this. Remember this is just from the top of my head and not worked out well, but just trying to make a point that seemingly minor players in a story can really add to the feeling of the story as a whole. Portraying Jim as a man (elf) in turmoil between the love of his daughter, the duty to his house and his resentment to Malekith, could, if done right, make for an interesting side character that adds to the feel of the story...

I'll stop blabbering now.... :shock:

D...
Lord Damian Valar, I love how you wrote it all out, and I actually named all the characters that are important to the story actually.
Aira's adoptive father Harrond and her birth father Amendil both loved Aira's mother Marienna, but in the end Marienna married Amendil, and Harrond was happy to stand aside and they were all very close. Marienna sadly dies not long after Aira is born, due to difficult labor (which is what gives Morathi the idea of how to kill her Daughter-In-Law) and Amendil dies during the Chaos Incursions.
The children Aira bears are called Ysane and Thalos, and both end up rejecting Morathi as young adults, due to their mother and grandfather's upbringing. Thalos actually goes into hiding ad masquerades as someone else to fight against the Nagarythe, but sadly is eventually killed by his own father when Malekith is encased in the armor and becomes the Witch King, (Malekith discovers his son's identity soon after he has killed him and removes his helmet.)
Ysane in the meanwhile also has hidden and married a simple farmer named Falandar and bears Malekith's only grandchild, a girl named Ingwe.
I love your ideas, I really need someone to help me develop the story more, as I have certain scenes in my mind of how I want to happen like how Malekith and Aira first meet, but the progression of their romance and stuff is still unclear how to manage that, which I why I wanted to roleplay it out with someone or at the very least discus it with someone, though I prefer roleplay.
Could we perhaps trade e-mails and converse there?
Last edited by Norelle on Thu Jun 23, 2011 7:41 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Post by Norelle »

Drainial wrote:The writing is pretty good but you need to look at your punctuation more carefully as well as proof reading it more closely. I know those are nit picking points but they are the kind of thing that can ruin the flow of what is otherwise a good little story and one that I would like to see expanded. I am also slightly confused as to how this links to an AU of any kind.

I don't mean this to sound harsh, I like it over all and just wanted to raise a few points of constructive criticism to try and help you improve it.


Thanks, I do need to work on punctuation, that was the first thing I thought when I firsted posted it, was how badly it was punctuated. What I need to a co-writer and maybe a beta reader. It doesn't really connect other than Morathi mentioning her hatred for her son's wife and the children by her.
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Post by Norelle »

I'm going to write another little excerpt.
Hope you all like this one as well, it's when Aira and Malekith first meet...

*First Meetings -

Aira was enjoying her visit to Nagarythe very much, she decided. When Idria had gone to Anlec to visit relatives from her mother's side, she had asked Aira to join her. At first Harrond had been reluctant, but he finally allowed Aira to accompany her friend. So far, despite the rather cool reception from the Naggarothi, the visit had been going quite nice. They spent their days exploring the forests, and shops, and nights being entertained by Idria's relatives. Today Aira was exploring more of the forest surrounding the manse of Idria's family. It was rather warm today, a rarity in Nagarythe, but not unwelcome to Aira. The other day she had found a lovely clear pond, and decided to find it again today and take her bath there. Her eyes lit up upon finding her elusive quarry and soon she was stripping down and diving into the cool water, sighing in relief. For a time she was undisturbed, but that was to change soon. As she stood up out of the water partway to scrub her long hair out, she heard the sudden sound of someone laughing. A male someone to be precise. With a yelp she dove back under the water and looked around for the offender, her eyes eventually finding a tall, handsome Elf standing on the river bank, holding the reins of his horse. He was taller than most other Elves, with long raven hair, and dark eyes, clad in golden armor, which had the sigil of a coiling dragon on it's breast. Flushing, she snapped out
"Who are you? What right do you have to stare upon me?!"
The infuriating smile still upon his face he replied in a deep voice
"Clearly you are not from here, though I discerned that much from your fair hair and skin, and not from any city, else you would know me already."
"Commenting on my supposed naïveté does not answer my question. Who-are-you?!" she said, enuciating each word clearly.
He chuckled again, and bowed low
"I am Prince Malekith of Nagarythe, son of Aenarion."
Aira's mind reeled, but outwardly she kept a calm appearance,
"Very well Prince Malekith, is it common practice for Nagarythe princes to invade women's privacy?"
Malekith moved forward, that infuriating smile still upon his face.
"Only if the woman are beautiful..."
She scowled
"Flattery will get you nowhere with me. Now turn around, whilst I get dressed." He laughed yet again, but did as she bade. She kept a close watch upon him, and redressed herself faster than she ever knew she could.
"You can look now."
He turned around, an eyebrow raising "You look just as ravishing clothed as you do naked I must admit..."
She flushed again "Do not think that because you are son of Aenarion you can get away with whatever you want! There are rules we must all abide by Prince Malekith, and it would do you well to remember them!" Without wasting another second she pushed past him and made her way back towards the manse. She was not far along when she heard horse's hooves thundering behind her and befor eshe knew she was yanked up into the saddle by her middle.
"Let me down!!!" she shrieked. Malekith pressed his mouth to hers, causing her to freeze in shock.
"Now then, let's get you home my dear." he replied once he released her mouth from his grip. And off they went again, unaware that this was the beginning of something bigger...

The End.*
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Post by Norelle »

Oh come on, anyone? It's kinda discouraging when it appears noone reads your stuff.
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Post by Saintofm »

You can get alot of views, but very few responses.


Not bad so far. Give's another look at Malekith.
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Norelle
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Post by Norelle »

saintofm wrote:You can get alot of views, but very few responses.


Not bad so far. Give's another look at Malekith.
That's disheartening, the main reason I post is to get feedback. Thanks for your kind words, I tried to keep him as in character as possible...
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Lord damian valar
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Post by Lord damian valar »

Hi Norelle, me again....

Well, to start I am not posting here to discourage you or anything, just giving my opinion on the story. Hope you see this in a positive way..

I just don't see this scene happening as you describe it. You write Malekith as a ladies man, wooing a girl of her feet in a flamboyant way and then kiss her on the mouth as he steals her away on his horse. The way I picture Malekith in my head, that would never happen....

This offcourse is the problem when writing about a well known and deeply developed characters. Everybody allready has a picture in their head of how they would behave in different situations.

In my opinion Malekith has never really had interest in love and relationships (he was born in the war against chaos for one thing, and his position and ambitions do not allow him to care much for parties and girls). Thus, if he would come to fall in love (even love at first sight) it would grip him totally unawares and his Stoic and Stern way of going through life would take a beating by it. He has skill in sorcery, combat, ruling a nation and command entire armies on the field of battle, but he has no skill whatsoever in impressing ladies or exchange chit chat conversations about nothing of importance, just to make a girl come to like him. And so, in the event of this happening he would more likely say or act in all the wrong ways in the art of seduction then be the player that claims the girl.....perhaps that in fact can be the reason she falls for him in return....

Well, just my 2 cents again anyway!
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Post by Drainial »

You may want to try your hand at a longer piece, little extracts are all very well but they do not draw a reader in or let you learn much about a character or event. Look at the most popular stories on the site (Sea of Shadows by Sirst springs to mind) and you will find that they are much longer and far more in-depth.
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Re: .

Post by Norelle »

Lord Damian Valar wrote:Hi Norelle, me again....

Well, to start I am not posting here to discourage you or anything, just giving my opinion on the story. Hope you see this in a positive way..

I just don't see this scene happening as you describe it. You write Malekith as a ladies man, wooing a girl of her feet in a flamboyant way and then kiss her on the mouth as he steals her away on his horse. The way I picture Malekith in my head, that would never happen....

This offcourse is the problem when writing about a well known and deeply developed characters. Everybody allready has a picture in their head of how they would behave in different situations.

In my opinion Malekith has never really had interest in love and relationships (he was born in the war against chaos for one thing, and his position and ambitions do not allow him to care much for parties and girls). Thus, if he would come to fall in love (even love at first sight) it would grip him totally unawares and his Stoic and Stern way of going through life would take a beating by it. He has skill in sorcery, combat, ruling a nation and command entire armies on the field of battle, but he has no skill whatsoever in impressing ladies or exchange chit chat conversations about nothing of importance, just to make a girl come to like him. And so, in the event of this happening he would more likely say or act in all the wrong ways in the art of seduction then be the player that claims the girl.....perhaps that in fact can be the reason she falls for him in return....

Well, just my 2 cents again anyway!


This is why I'd really like to discuss this with you!!! Do you have YIM or anything? I try to get your e-mail from your profile page but it does't work. And the fact you don't respond to my pms asking for it so we can discuss it properly doesn't help. XP
You seem very knowledgable and creative and I'd really like to speak to you about developing ths story better, or co writing it with you in a type of rp.
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Post by Lord damian valar »

Send you a PM Norelle....


D...
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Post by Lord damian valar »

Ok, as you asked me, here is my vision on how their first meeting could be like. Again, since people view Malekiths personality all in their own way, this is just my vision and feel free change whatever you want for your interpertation.


Aira was enjoying her visit to Nagarythe very much, she decided. When Idria had gone to Anlec to visit relatives from her mother's side, she had asked Aira to join her. At first Harrond had been reluctant, but he finally allowed Aira to accompany her friend. So far, despite the rather cool reception from the Naggarothi, the visit had been going quite nice. They spent their days exploring the forests, and shops, and nights being entertained by Idria's relatives. Today Aira was exploring more of the forest surrounding the manse of Idria's family. It was rather warm today, a rarity in Nagarythe, but not unwelcome to Aira. The other day she had found a lovely clear pond, and decided to find it again today and take her bath there. Her eyes lit up upon finding her elusive quarry and soon she was stripping down and diving into the cool water, sighing in relief. For a time she was undisturbed, but that was to change soon.

As she stood up out of the water partway to scrub her long hair out, she heard the sudden sound of hooves aproaching. Not knowing what to do she guickly dove underwater. When her breath ran out however Aira gently put her head upward again to breathe and spotted a tall, handsome Elf standing on the river bank, holding the reins of his horse, which was drinking from the pond. He was taller than most other Elves, with long raven hair, and dark eyes, wearing simple, but good quality black clothing. Flushing, she made a short shrug.

At the sound of the noise he looked up immidiately in her direction. A sneer on his face, as if infuriated that he was caught unawaress. “Who are you and what is your bussiness here?”, he demanded of her.

Not liking the commanding tone in his voice Aira snapped back:”My bussiness? I am swimming if it pleases you. Or does a lady need your permission to enjoy the waters here?” With sly mockery in her voice she added:”Or do you own the pond?”

Taken back by her small outburst the Elfs face looked shocked at First, this one obviously was not used to being talked back to, he then seemed to think upon her words shortly and a small smile came to his face.
“As a matter of fact, indeed I claim ownership to this pond, my lady”, as he spoke he seemed to observe her face better,”I take you are not from here?”

Feeling mocked by the Elf Aira merely looked at him with a frown on her fair face and with a sneer remarked:”Well?”

The male looked at her with a puzzled look on his face, seemingly not understanding her. “Well…..what?”

“Well, turn around if you please! Or is it common practice in Nagarythe to invade in noble womens privacy?”

He looked frustrated at himself for not reacting immidiately and stummered: “Uhmm…yes….Offcourse…I shall leave you to yourself, M’lady”, with that he jerked on the reins of his horse and left into the bushes leading to the road.

Secretly quite amused by the strange Elf Aira quickly left the pond and dressed herself, before following the male Elf towards the road. She found him tending to the muzzle of his horse. Doing her best to look regal as she aproached him, he turned and made a small bow. When she was about to speak, he beat her to it and said:” I apoligize for the intrusion M’lady. As you have given me some time to ponder on it, I take you are Aira, birthdaughter of Amendil and raised by Harrond of Eathain?”

Now it was Aira’s turn to be surprised. “You….you know who I am?” she stummered a bit too naively for her own liking.

“Yes Lady Aira, as a host I make it my importance to know all that are my guests.”

It only then hit Aira as to who this Elf was. Cursing herself for her own ignorance and frankly quite ashamed she replied:”Prince Malekith?” As she spoke she made to kneel and apologise for insulting the Prince of Nagarythe and the son of Aenarion, but Malekith gently took her by her wrists and helped her upright again. Softly he spoke: “There is no need for that M’lady.”

“But I insulted you, your Highness.”

“Your family has fought and bled for my father and for Ulthuan with more vigor than any house and lost more then most in the process. You are more then friends of Nagarythe and as thus there is no offense taken.”
With a small smile he added:”Also, to be true, I found it pretty refreshing for once to be adressed as an intruding commoner, instead to the normal bowing and kneeling people tend to do around my person. Just please do not do it in the court of Anlec, my subjects simply would not understand.”

Relaxed once more Aira let slip a short laugh as he mounted the large horse and stretched his hand to her:”Now, lady Aira, would you grant me the honor of escorting you back to your family?”

As she took his hand their eyes locked and something inside her engulved her with warm feelings. The moment seemed to last a lifetime, but still not long enough, untill finally he hoisted her gently upwards with his strong arm and placed her behind him on his horse. “hold tight”, he spoke as he took the reins and his horse exploded into motion, and indeed she did……..



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Well, thats it....keep in mind that english is not my first language and thus my creativity with words is sorely limited...hope this helps!

D...
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Saintofm
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Post by Saintofm »

I like how Lord Damian Valar put it. Here he is at first unaware of the girl, or at least feins it, and lets her know he is in charge when he does notice her.

He has some arrogance to him, but he knows some politics (how else would he have survevied living with the dwarves if he let slip he thought they were smelly twits). This is one of those moments, and it works better.

I like the other one, but now that I think of it, it does look closer to Malus Darkblade.
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Norelle
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Post by Norelle »

saintofm wrote:I like how Lord Damian Valar put it. Here he is at first unaware of the girl, or at least feins it, and lets her know he is in charge when he does notice her.

He has some arrogance to him, but he knows some politics (how else would he have survevied living with the dwarves if he let slip he thought they were smelly twits). This is one of those moments, and it works better.

I like the other one, but now that I think of it, it does look closer to Malus Darkblade.


Whoops...XD
I like Malus and Malekith so that's probably why. XD
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Raneth
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Post by Raneth »

Malekith wrote:"Just please do not do it in the court of Anlec, my subjects simply would not understand.”


Seeeeeriously? This should be a threat. :lol:
Vryala Naïlo - WS5 / S5 / T5 / D5 / I4

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Lord damian valar
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Post by Lord damian valar »

What do you mean Raneth? He obviously made a jest here...

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Norelle
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Post by Norelle »

I've recently started using the site called tektek.org to make little avatar equvilants to my characters and dress them up. I have a list of different outfits for different occasions. And Lord Damian Valar, I'm still waiting for that e-mail back or I won't send anything else. ;)
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