My Malekith Marries storyline...

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Norelle
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My Malekith Marries storyline...

Post by Norelle »

I've decided to place the summary of my stories on these forums and hope that you guys can help me refine and polish it, and help me with lore, etc. I appreciate your guys feedback on my other posts, and they really do help me. :)

For Aira, she is the only daughter of Harrond, who is actually her uncle, but during the Chaos Incursions, while Aira's mother Marienna was pregnant with her, their lands were attacked and Aenarion sent sparse support due to the fact that Morathi was giving birth to Malekith at the time.
The end result is that their lands were devastated and Amendil, Aira's birth father was killed, and Marienna gravely injured, and having to give emergency birth to a premature Aira. Harrond always resents Morathi and Malekith because of this, blaming them for his loss of family.
Aira grows up and eventually goes with her friend Idria, to visit Idria relatives in Nagarythe. (Idria is an Eataine merchant's daughter, but her mother is from a minor Nagarythe noble family).
One day, while Aira bathes in a pond, Malekith who is out riding comes across her naked in the water. Drawn to her in a way he can't understand he seeks her out at Idria's family's manse and invites her to dine with him, despite his mother's objections.
Morathi makes it clear than she does not approve of Aira at all. The remaining time Aira spends with Malekith in Nagarythe before she has to return home.
Unbeknownst to Malekith, Aira is in an unhappy arranged marriage with an Eataine noble. He goes off to Eataine to continue to see her, and they enjoy time together before she sadly breaks it off with him, for what he perceives as no reason.
Idria however, tells him of the unhappy arrangement and on the party that was to announce her engagement Malekith crashes the party and Aira gathers her courage to announce she never loved the noble, who says she still is his betrothed.
Malekith announces he will duel for Aira's hand. The two duel, Malekith wins, but on Aira's request lets the other noble live. The noble racked with bitterness and jealously, vows revenge on the two.
At first the engagement goes well, but Aira senses Malekith's obsession with the Phoenix Throne and tells him he will have to choose what matters more to him, having her or having the Throne.
Malekith decides on her, enraging Morathi who sees Aira as an obstacle for her ambitions for her son. she seeks out the noble and seduces him, and togethr they make a plot to kill Aira.
Despite this, Aira and Malekith marry in a grand ceremony and soon Aira gives birth to their firstborn child, a son, that they name Thalos. Within a couple years time she becomes pregnant again, but goes into premature labor (caused by Morathi starting to poison her after her grandson was weaned), and gives birth to a weak baby girl.
The baby girl however survives and is named Ysane, but is always weak and sickly. OVer time the poisoning begins to take it's toll on Aira who becomes so weak she is bed bound and no physicians can discover the cause of her illness.
With Malekith by her side, she dies while her children are still young. Not long after her burial Malekith leaves his children in the care of their grandparents and heads off to colonies to beat off the pain of losing the one woman he ever loved.
Time passes, and events eventually lead up to the Sundering, and after Malekith is encased in his armor he goes to rout out some rebels and kills their leader, which is revealed to be his son. This also devstates Malekith. There is a side story of what Harrond is dealing with, and the noble who hangs himself out of guilt after confessing his sins on paper, but it is destroyed by Morathi as she doesn't want her involvement in Aira's death revealed.
Malekith becomes the Witch King of Naggaroth, but Aira is considered a figure of respect like Aenarion is, and some Sorceresses dye and style their hair after Aira to show devotion to the Witch King.
My story was planning on having Malekith in his last bid to take Ulthuan critially wounding himself with his own magic, fulfilling Caledor's prophecy, but as he dies, he manages to redeem himself by saving the world by sacrificing himself to stop a Chaos Incursion. As he dies he is escorted away by Aira into the afterlife. He will of course be punished for his sins, but because of his final deed, Aira will be beside him through it all.

Norelle's story is that Norelle is the mysterious daughter of a widowed Nagarythe noble man, who found her as a newborn on his property one day and kept her as his own. Her story isn't as developed, but the difference is Morathi likes her (at first), and sees her as a usual pawn to help her manipulate her son. I'm still working on the finer parts of her story but there you have it.

I appreciate any feedback and help with my stories. I want them as realistic as possible, and I know lots of people have different views on Malekith's personality, and that's fine, but I still appreciate feedback.
Last edited by Norelle on Sun Jan 22, 2012 5:08 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Post by Norelle »

Like I said, any help is appreciated.
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Post by Red... »

It's an interesting set up and has some intriguing and well thought out portions.

A few comments from me - more from a writer's perspective than that of a loremaster (my knowledge of druchii lore is essentially limited to the army books):

- Characters thrive best when clear reasons are given for their actions, even if they themselves don't fully understand those actions themselves. So, it would be better if there is at least a hinted at reason why Malekith is drawn towards Aira when he sees her naked (even if it's simply pure burning lust), as otherwise it seems a bit too contrived. 'They were drawn towards one another because...well, it's important for my story that they were...'. Similarly, it would be a good idea to have a bit more rationale behind why Aira and Idria go off to visit her relatives in Nagarythe - people don't tend to just up and leave to go places without a good, strong reason for doing so (e.g. Idria and Aira leave to seek apprenticeships in her uncle's village).

- It feels a bit Medieval in terms of duels and arranged marriages and so forth. That may be what you are looking for, so it's not necessarily a criticism, more of a comment that this is how it comes across.

- Try to use several paragraphs when writing out this kind of thing. A 24 line paragraph, stuffed full of detailed sentences, is wearying to read. Break it up to make it accessible and you may get more feedback.

- Malekith sacrificing himself to save the world from Chaos Incursion seems to be quite a big leap away from general canon and is probably not very much in character with him. We know from the story of Tyrion and Teclis that Malekith has previously allied himself with the forces of Chaos in their attempts to conquer the world - it seems unlikely that he would suddenly change his mind at the last instant. It's not impossible, but you'd need to make sure it is clear why this change happens...

- Currently it feels a bit like you are creating a storyline and then generating characters to populate it. You really want it to be the other way around - your characters should be helping to forge the storyline, or at least experiencing it, not acting as pawns who fulfill pre-prepared parts.
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Post by Drainial »

The biggest leap from character as I see it is not changing his mind about Chaos, he has reason enough to hate the great four simply from the loss of his father not to mention the subsequent Sundering and (if the plot moves on far enough along standard history) whatever happened to him in the warp after Finuvel plains. What I find harder to accept is Malekith putting aside ambition for the sake of a woman, that is the part that needs focusing on I think. What is special about Aira, why can she reach the unreachable heart? The plot line is rather far from the usual background and that can be fine, it is the characters and particularly their motivations that need to be explored and explained a little better.

Personally I would simply try writing more about them, you may find that you come to understand them better and come to understand what it is you want from them but that is simply what I do and I am by no means an author. Believability in a fantasy setting needs to focus on the characters, you can have an eagle perform the marriage ceremony or have them honeymoon beyond the rainbow with monkey butlers if you want but the emotion and motivation needs to be there. I would also agree with Red about paragraphs, three or four sentences all around a single topic should be a rough guide though obviously that is not a hard and fast rule.
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Post by Norelle »

This is what I need help on, what reason should I make Malekith attracted to Aira in the first place and what she it be about her that makes him want to give up his ambition?
Also Idria often goes to visit her mother's family in Nagarythe every year at spring/summer. I was thinking one of the things that makes Malekiht stop the Chaos Incursion is he finally finds out about Morathi's involvement in his wife's death.
And yes I know it sounds a bit medieval and I kinda view Elf society as that.
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Post by Red... »

Well, let's take a quick gander at what sorts of motivators may make Malekith tick (I can't be sure of these, as my druchii lore knowledge is not the best, but they seem right to me):

- Ambition and lust for power.
- Sense of family honour / urge to rectify the slights against this.
- Sense of entitlement.
- Sense of superiority.
- Love of rich, grandiose things.
- Ongoing issues with his mother.
- He has succumbed in part to the pleasures of Slannesh.
- He is extremely egotistical.

Now, with these in mind, let's consider some possible reasons for why he would want to be with Aira:

- She is beautiful and he wants beautiful things.
- He wants the thrill of conquest.
- She initially refuses his advances, which makes him want her more because no maiden has ever spurned him before. She seems unobtainable and that drives Malekith into needing her. He must have what he cannot have, and so he must have her.
- Her family is well connected and by taking her hand in marriage he can advance his own goals and ends.
- His submission to Slannesh allows his lust to overwhelm him. He sees this beautiful, naked, slim but busty female bathing in the pool and he gives into the burning need in his loins and takes her where she swims. (Okay, that perhaps got a little too graphic...)
- He introduces her to his mother, and she despises him. So he decides to court and then ultimately wed her as an act of defiance against his mother, knowing that it will cheese her off beyond all belief.
- Her eyes remind her of his father or mother.
- She reminds him of a simpler world without ambition and deceit. As he spirals towards damnation, his desire for her represents a last, desparate clutch at simple, moral values and chivalrous ideals.
- She is betrothed to a noble who enjoys the favour of the hated Bel Shanaar. By ripping her from the grasp of this noble and marrying her himself, he can help avenge the horrible slight dealt to him and his family when he was passed over for ascension to the throne.
- Naked and diminuitive, she seems to him like a helpless maiden. He can feed his own sense of power, heroism and egotism by 'saving her'.

Any or all of the above could help to explain why he ends up wanting to court and ultimately wedding her. Those are just a few suggestions - it may be that none are any good, but its that kind of combining of personality trait with motivation that makes for believable and enjoyable story telling :)
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Post by Norelle »

Well the taking her where she swims isn't going to happen, she's a virgin until their wedding night. She actually is kind of rare among the Elves as it seems to me Elves are pretty free with sex, even before and after the Cult of Pleasures, and Aira is more private and chaste.
She does in my story spurn his advances, (and at first doesn't even know who he is, due to him riding without any mark of the Court of Anlec on him and she'd only heard stories of Malekith not seen him) particularily because he caught her naked the first time they meet, an invasion of her privacy. Her family is reasonably connected as they are a noble family whose men got great renown for fighting in the Chaos Incursions, and they also are a big trading family in Eataine.
Red... wrote:He introduces her to his mother, and she despises him. So he decides to court and then ultimately wed her as an act of defiance against his mother, knowing that it will cheese her off beyond all belief.
- She reminds him of a simpler world without ambition and deceit. As he spirals towards damnation, his desire for her represents a last, desparate clutch at simple, moral values and chivalrous ideals.
- She is betrothed to a noble who enjoys the favour of the hated Bel Shanaar. By ripping her from the grasp of this noble and marrying her himself, he can help avenge the horrible slight dealt to him and his family when he was passed over for ascension to the throne.
- Naked and diminuitive, she seems to him like a helpless maiden. He can feed his own sense of power, heroism and egotism by 'saving her'.


These four I really like, but mainly the reminding him of a simpler world, and her being betrothed to a noble who enjoys the favor of Bel Shanaar. The noble having this favor could also explain why her uncle/adoptive father, Harrond would arrange a marriage between the two. (He wants her to always be cared for after he's gone.)
Also, I don't know if Malekith had given in to Slaneesh in th time period I have it in. The time period is set (this is according to the 'Malekith' book) during the 200 or so years he spent in Anlec rebuilding and holding court. Aira dies near the end of the 200 year span and is one of the main reasons he goes to colonies.
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Post by Norelle »

Also reviewing Shadow King, arranged marriages did hapen it appears, at least it semed that Alith Anar was arranged to marry that one Elf maiden, Ashniel.
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Post by Syjahel »

Have you considered this: since what you want doesn't really have anything to do specifically with Malekith or the Warhammer background (ie they are alternative histories), the knowledge you're looking for doesn't have to be tied down to just a Warhammer forum? :) In fact, you may find more specialised assistance from a place that deals with writers' questions and story-telling queries. Have you tried any of these? It's possible that you could also find a local creative writing course or some kind of writer's workshop. These aren't usually expensive, if they charge at all.

While I can see some excellent suggestions here, if your questions are ones of characterisation, or of how to make a plot work then writers' sites are almost bound to have a lot of helpful advice, and they'll be more focussed on what you need. If your questions are about the lore, then a current or past version of the Dark Elf or High Elf army books should be something you read and take in thoroughly, because pretty much any edition will have the basic story and lore. I don't know your budget, but if it's good you can always invest in some of the things like the Storm of Chaos book (eBay and Amazon helped me out here) for other background information.

If you are looking for writing help then as lovely as we are here :D , this is primarily a wargaming site so you're going to find more specialist writing knowledge elsewhere. I know you also have other stories, so it will help (if help is needed) with them all to look at the skills you feel you are lacking (and most of us are our own harshest critics) and polish them for use in everything you write - it's a sort of overall solution you can then use to work on your own Malekith plots :)

I'd say work on your general skills first in the areas you feel you need to improve, then you will be a lot happier with your work and you can make the Malekith story you've always wanted :)
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Post by Norelle »

I just appreciate ideas from other people like me, just to see what other people think. I'm more comfortable doing it this way. :)
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Post by Syjahel »

Well, the idea is that people who are seeking to make better stories would be people like you :) I'd encourage you to give it a go since you are keen to get some (more) decent feedback and views. There are plenty of forums dealing with learning how to write or improve your writing, if forums are what you prefer :)
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Post by Tarbo »

What Syjahel advises is what I did, hanging around at a (long since discontinued) writers forum. I had trouble with some things, a lot of things, mainly descriptions other than "room about four by five, looks pretty," and people were very kind and helpful to me. It's a little scary just going there and saying "Hi, can you help me?" but you'd be amazed at how well some people can help out.

Also, with working on other things first, this can help. Personally, I find it easier when you write with a purpose. An RPG, a SAU, a journal; anything to force you to get something out the door at a certain point. You'll pick it up as you go.

Red... wrote:- His submission to Slannesh allows his lust to overwhelm him. He sees this beautiful, naked, slim but busty female bathing in the pool and he gives into the burning need in his loins and takes her where she swims. (Okay, that perhaps got a little too graphic...)
(crunches popcorn) Continue the story.
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Post by Norelle »

Can anyone link to me to some? I'm rather cautious on the Internet, trying to avoid viruses. XP
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Post by Tarbo »

Voice of God wrote:Tarbo used Google... it's super effective!
:p (Sorry, couldn't resist.)

Seriously though, looks like most sites on the first page are good hits. Skim through them, see which one catches your fancy.

If you're afraid of catching a 'cold' on the Wild West that is the Internet, we had a brief discussion on online protection a while back. Maybe you'll find something useful in our meanderings.
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Post by Norelle »

Thank you oh great Tarbo!!!
EDIT : There's another reason why I haven't looked for other writing sites, how many people actually know much about the Warhammer Lore and such?
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Post by Syjahel »

Well as I said you aren't using the actual canon lore, so it doesn't matter for that sake, and the information on how to write a good story is not genre-specific, so again it will be helpful :) Really what applies to any good fantasy story will apply to your needs.
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Post by Norelle »

Ok, I still like talking to you guys about it. :)
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Post by Syjahel »

You might find equally fun guys there. Why restrict yourself? ;)
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Post by Norelle »

*wiggles*
Logic, nuuuuu, I am powerless against it!!!
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Post by Norelle »

I asked a question to Gav Thorpe, concerning my stories, it sorta of discouraged me.

'It’s me again. But I trust your answers because you’re really good at Elven Lore and was hoping you could help me. I’m writing a story involving an Elven marriage and was wondering if you could impart any wisdom to me? Also did Malekith when he was younger ever plan to eventually marry? IF so, what would he have looked for in a potential wife?

I’ve not thought about Elven marriage sin any detail, but for inspiration I’d suggest you move away form the very instituionalised monotheistoic marriage ceremonies and looke towards those used in older cultures and traditions. Also I suspect it would depend a lot on whether the couple are nobles or not.'

I think that any marriage that involved Malekith would have beeb more likely one of political convenience rather than love. He’s just not that giving type! Remember that all Phoenix Kings are ritually married to the Everqueen and provide her with an heir, but this does not stop either from having their own consort(s) – marriage is much more an arrangement between families – in Shadow King Alith is fortunate that his love is from another noble family, and that the bond between the Anars and Ashniel’s father is one that would be strenghtened by the tie.
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Post by Tarbo »

What Gav says is, I believe, true. It also seems to be the opinion of most everyone who pitched into the topic, including yours truly. However, this doesn't mean that you are bound by it: only that you will be going against the grain. If you must take creative licence to write your piece, then I feel you should. Even the Black Library has bearded elves.

Take my own creations, for example (not for the bearded elves, though). While situated almost solely in Druchii society, or at least keeping it as a close backdrop, most of the characters are not really the epitome of druchii-ness. That's okay: I like writing with them, some people like reading what I write, and I use what background information I can, and conveniently work around what pieces are troublesome to me.

You're already aiming to have a 'different' Malekith than what is generally considered canon. That's part of your core, the what-if genesis of your story, so that's pretty much a given. Ask yourself how important it is that the ceremony is as you imagined, or whether you're comfortable trying your hand on a more canon approach to the wedding ceremony -- as Gav said, with a nod to older human customs, which would allow you a greater degree of freedom to unleash your creativity.

In a nutshell: don't feel discouraged. Your story is not going to be canon. If you like writing it, and people like reading it, does it need to be?
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Post by Norelle »

Thanks Tarbo, I needed to hear that. :)
I don't intend for it to be canon, and it's kinda fun to go against the grain. I appreciate all the help the people of Druchii.Net give me. :)
I only hope people like the pieces I put up. Which is probably how it's going to be, just randomly posting small bits and pieces, it's easier for me.
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