What would you do to cheaters?

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Draknir
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What would you do to cheaters?

Post by Draknir »

People who cheat in the game can be very annoying. But when they get too annoying, try these:

#1: Throw him into a nurgling swarm.

#2: Make him eat his own loaded dice.

#3: Prod Grimgor ironhide's shoulder and run when the cheater is coming behind him.

#4: Stick a note "Sigmar's chosen" to his forehead and introduce him to Archaon.

#5: Give him to Clan Moulder as a test subject.

#6: Ram his head into a cannon before firing it.

#7: Sacrifice him to Khorne.

#8: Feed him to a dragon.

#9: Send him to Naggarond singing the national anthem of Ulthuan.

#10: Nail his head to the floor. Then, every Sunday, call him to your place so he could apologise... and then nail his head to the floor.
But if his parents would come for tea on a special Sunday, and he asks if you'd mind not nailing his head to the floor, be reasonable about it. Happily agree and just screw his pelvis to a cake stand.
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Alex c
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Post by Alex c »

Punch him in the stomach and steal his army case.

Unleash the MERWURM upon him, with fatal consequences.
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Angelofdarkness
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Post by Angelofdarkness »

beat them to death with a hardback rule Book
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Post by Fenix »

#9: Send him to Naggarond singing the national anthem of Ulthuan.


Sounds interesting :twisted:
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Post by Daeron »

Have him tortured near dead, then heal/revive him and start all over. I bet you can turn it into a saturday nightlife spectacle. With disco lights and everything.
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Hawk
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Post by Hawk »

Hehe. The national anthem thing could get interesting... But beating him with the rulebook seemes more reasonable, if you mean seriously
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Crazyhorse
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Post by Crazyhorse »

My favorite metal glue his hands together then plastic wrap him to a pole. My favorite is to suggest you trade dice for the game. Then watch his face as he tries to tell you why he will not agree to that.
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Post by Fellblade »

Know the rules better than he does. Quote page number and paragraph when he challenges you. Then let him have his way, and win the game in spite of his cheating.
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Post by Slerac fellblade »

Jack his general and of course say yoink when you take the general as we all may rule the rule of yoink means it is yours.
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Post by Tijminator »

I would friendly ask him if he ever had his kneecap inserted in his throat, and if he would like to find out. I'd give him one phase thinking time. If he keeps cheating, I'd cut off his left kneecap with a toothbrush and stuff it in his ass all the way up to his throat. If he survives, I will ask him to call a hospital, so I won't be buggered with a corpse.

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Fingol darkwater
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Post by Fingol darkwater »

I'd just passive-aggressively not play them anymore, then the rest of the group would follow suit. Does more damage than you'd think.
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Post by Victor simic »

I find the best medicine to feed cheaters and pricks in general, is to go along with EVERYTHING they do. To the point of being ridiculous.

For example; I encountered a shocking cheat at a local Club night recently. He was blatantly Moving units above their Movement allowance, claiming Flank Charges when he had Front Arc, claiming LOS for his own units while denying my LOS for the same situation etc. etc., not to mention bending the Rules as written constantly. He was also a cocky SOB.

I realised the game was a farce, and decided on reverse psychology. I proceeded to offer him my units Rear for Charging, walked my General up to his strongest unit and waited for death, reversed my War Machines to face my deployment zone, cast destructive Spells on my own units, and generally played at the best of my ability to lose.

These tactics worked a treat. My cheating opponent didn`t know what to do. it was obvious that I was playing to lose, but I maintained a serious demenour, and looked shocked when he suggested I wasn`t taking the game seriously. He ended up flustered, annoyed, and thoroughly pissed off.

Victory to me.
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Post by Neferata »

Personally I'd send him (or her) an angry letter, describing how angry I was. If that didn't help, I'd call his (or her) parents and talk very fast and with a very upset voice.

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Sinzaren
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Post by Sinzaren »

Never really had a problem with cheaters. The locals seem to be afraid of me for some reason. :?
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Post by Lowcash »

Haha, Victor Simic, I love that! It is something I would totally do, but have not as of yet. I will do that the next time I encounter a chump who wants to cheat. I especially love the "serious demenour" part. Hehe, casting black horror on your own CoK would shock any opponent. Then launch a couple of six round salvos from the bolt thrower at your DR's. Man thats great. Good times.
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Hidaus morbusa
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Post by Hidaus morbusa »

it's always annoying when experiencing people who cheats. No matter if it's an inch that all of a sudden is way too far, a sorcerer who ...whoops surprise... still got a dispel scroll ("no-no, it was my lvl 2 last time around!"), if it's 200 pts above what you'd agreed on playing or runes or items on his lord costing 110 pts all in all...whatever! It sucks!

What to do?

Some cheats are simply mistakes; be fair. Accept an apology and claim a re-match.
Some cheats are just too vague to call, though the feeling of being cheated is rigth in your face.
Some cheats are obvious.

You should avoid playing a guy who cheats you. Save yourself from the frustration. Tell him why you will not accept his challenges. Be fair and explicit. "I won't play against you, because I thought you'd broken the rules by doing that or that. I cannot accept that when playing". Remember cheesy armies aren't cheating directly. Never blame a dwarf player cheating becuase of his enormous gunline. It's just dull....

Victor Simics sarcastic style is tempting, but wouldn't work for me. Wish I could maintain it but I'd be too pissed off !mad!
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Ilokir lúinwë
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Post by Ilokir lúinwë »

I never had a problem with cheaters before...

Draknir Helgar wrote:the national anthem of Ulthuan.
Which is?


11: send him with a petition to Ulthuan asking Malekith as Phoenix King... !lol!
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Post by Kargan daemonclaw »

Taking a leaf from the doc's machine paintball web comic.
Cheaters would get a good maletting followed by duck taping their head to the table.
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Post by Xinyu »

Hi everyone!

I wouldnt do anything to cheaters other than try and beat them despite their folly.

I play someone with alot of experince who knows all the rules well. Me I am the opposite where I have a good understanding but still look them up. So, when I play this person they always cheat me. I played Tau in 40k and he was Space Marines, my first game I was trying to kill his librarian and he said that the phycic power Veil of Time allowed re-rolls on everything.

So I was stuck trying to kill an invincible Librarian for three turns before I asked to see the rules. He simply said... "oops sorry" but it was to late and the game was thrown because of superior close combat abilities... Not being able to kill a single model with three turns of Tau shooting is ridiculous.

Another time about 7 years ago in my first game of warhammer he said that warp lightning functioned in the same way as a warp lightning cannon and could be used through terrain... Once again the game was spoilded....

After taking a long break from the game and selling all my models because of a cheater I have finnaly returned hoping for better opponents and better times this time.
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Post by Belial »

Ilokir wrote:I never had a problem with cheaters before...

Draknir Helgar wrote:the national anthem of Ulthuan.
Which is?


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Post by Darmort »

Belial. wrote:
Ilokir wrote:I never had a problem with cheaters before...

Draknir Helgar wrote:the national anthem of Ulthuan.
Which is?


*I wish I was a punkrocker, with flowers in my hair...*


That song is awesome. The national anthem of Ulthuan is actually a Paris Hilton song. *Shudders*

How do I deal with a cheater? Get an unbiased medium in to deal with it (staff, for example), or prove him wrong here and there if I know.
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Leth'aren
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Post by Leth'aren »

Darmort wrote:Get an unbiased medium in to deal with it (staff, for example)


How about an oak quarterstaff? :twisted:

I haven't had to deal with cheaters, but being very new to the game I'm sure I'll be perfect bait for them when I start playing in larger groups. I would ask them to show me the rule and explain it... if they fail at either of those (or consistently "oops" me), I would ultimately end up boycotting them. It's just a game, no use getting violent or pissy. (But I wouldn't recommend that they follow me out to the parking lot at the end of the day...)

The game is meant to be fun; if someone prevents that maliciously, I don't need to be playing with them. Not having fun because of a cheesy army is different. I that case, I'd say play a couple of times to learn their game, then challenge them again later with my own, stinkier cheese :D
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Post by Darklord of naggaroth »

12. Give them a gold ring as a well done gift .... then call a nazgul over.

I wouldn't mind if they just took an extra slot choice, or if they went over a few points. but if they were blatently changing stats etc. then I'd just ask them about it if it sounded suspisious, or have a copy of the army book there to check things. Then not play them again.
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Shakra sharktooth
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Post by Shakra sharktooth »

Let him hear me sing :twisted:
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Post by Minsc »

Show him the real rules in the BGB

Tell him that he cheats and unless he doesn't stop:

I'll stop playing him, tell the entire Club that he cheats, and 5 min's later he'll be frozen out
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